Sunday, January 10, 2010

The Question?? To Decorate a Grave? To Dress a Grave? Or Not To Dress Or Decotate? What Is Too Much? What Is Your Taste?

These are the questions that I am pondering this week? After a taking a nasty fall in the cemetery; I am going to have to ponder the questions for another day or two before I can put together the story. What are your thoughts? This is going to have to be a story of neutral opinions for me...I would never in my wildest thoughts want to offend a grieving family...I am rethinking the cemetery policies of where I have worked...Not placing fault with anyone...Corporate cemeteries have to walk a fine line of keeping grieving families form stalking out other families and confronting them over what each places on a grave in remembrance of their loved ones.

In my small family cemetery we have always been of the mindset that less is more...A tidy grave shows mountains of respect as opposed to a grave with mountains of “silk” flowers, stuffed animals, flying things, hanging things, figurines..You name it and many graves have ALL of it on them. When I was living in Florida a few years ago, a family who had an unexpected death just told the funeral home to bury their loved on in my family cemetery! None of the family members knew this one gave them permission to bury in the cemetery...Had someone just asked we would have probably invited them in...No one asked...Go figure that one!!!

And to boot, they chose a spot in the front of the cemetery and piled the grave...MOUNDED the grave with everything you could possible imagine; complete with a dragon that glowed in the dark. Even putting white plastic lawn chairs there stacked up against a tree…Boy, oh boy did my phone ring off of the hook with unhappy family members and neighbors of the cemetery!!!! After repeated calls and seven years of trying to negotiate a truce with the “squatting” family...I have tried to see their point...To a point… Luckily, they didn’t take a sledge hammer to my mother and grandparents monument as promised. Down here in the South cemetery ideas are a contact sport!...BUT… (to be continued)

What are your thoughts? How would you handle this situation? How do you feel if you are a believer in all out, over the top, competitive grave decorating? How do you feel if you are of the mind set of “less says more”...too much is tacky and not respectful? What if one family’s grave police is intruding on another’s? Please let me know your thoughts???


  1. Less is more. I personally feel that if I had trinkets
    etc. I would not put them at the gravesite.
    With the exception of an angel or other religious
    figurine made to be in the elements.
    If the rules allow anything to be placed and
    only for a time certain, when the family
    has to remove it, the problem begins.
    Prohibit all but flowers and that makes it easy.

  2. I am anxiously awaiting the rest of the story.

  3. It's up the the family it not a place to judge every one is diffrent. My two yearold was killed and she was my world my only child it's been only about six mo. I have her grave decorated but not over done she has some "real flowers" a few angles, a small 3in' garden fince and on the holadays i take a few extra things that represent that holaday (usualy i make them) and only leave them up for that weekend then take them back down. I will say i think if people bring stuff they should take it apon them selfs to take care of the area ... i dont like seeing the stuffed anamils with mildue on them and think if they have no plans to return to through away old stuff they would have been beter off leaving nothing.